"Is that you - Lady Marin Headlands? "

Date: Thursday March 18th, 2004
Location: San Francisco
Leads: David and Paul

Cut to SCENE 1:

A sober Shad has returned to San Francisco and once again is helping to run ATYS. It has been ages since David and Paul have had a complete day together to get out and play without either having to work. They decide to take advantage of the resort like weather of 80 + degrees and kick it over the Golden Gate to the Marin Headlands with the "Larry Chairs" that Diana left as a gift when she returned to Michigan. (now you may be asking what exactly is a larry chair? they are those fold out chairs of canvas materials - come with a shoulder bag perfect for transport - and once unfolded instantly give you a very comfy beach chair with foot rest and beer cozy (this is how they received the name larry chair - you know lesbians and their beer cozies - oh yeah "larry" - that is the lesbian equal of a gay boy "mary" - again thanks Diana for that one!!! )

Whew - anyway where was i? don't know so cut to next scene.

SCENE 2:
David and Paul are super excited to be able to go over to the headlands and take a break from the city. After their morning workout with Jake they pack into the Saab and zoom zoom to the bridge. They are feeling really good about their physical fitness program that they have been very dedicated to and figure this is the perfect day to get a jump on all the other g-boys and start their summer tan early!! The sun is beating down from the sky, the heat feels good on the skin, Alain Mikli sunglasses (http://www.mikli.fr/) are on, and both David and Paul are feeling sexy and confidant in their Marin Headlands outfits!

SCENE 3:
David and Paul exit off 101 to Drake Blvd. They almsot insantly come upon the 5 minute long red light at the old fort tunnel on the Headlands that separates the real world from nature and surf. They are filled with excitement at the thought of opening up the Larry Chairs and kicking back for a few hours of relaxation under the sun together.

Paul: WOW! It has been so long since we have had the opportunity to just hang out and have fun like this!

David: I hear ya baby!!! i am looking forward to the views of the ocean and cliffs, the sounds of the waves, the smell of the heat on the wildflowers and jsut chilling with you - my spouse for life!!!

Scene 3a. Stop light changes to green and the boys zoom off towards the ocean! Instantly as they emerge from the 1/4 mile tunnel they notice a difference in scenery and pace and begin to unwind fromthe city rush. Zoom, zoom the Saab goes to David's secret little hide-away he found the week prior. They pull up to a cliff overlooking the ocean, wildflowers and the beach below with surfers and other city folks playing hooky from work on this beautiful day!

Scene 3b: David opens the Saab's rear door and fetches the Larry Chairs, natural spring water, and organic sun screen (a girl can never get enough filtration from the harmful rays!!). The boys walk about 1/4 mile to the place they will call home for the next few hours. The remove the larry chairs from their slip covers, unfold and set them up looking out at the glistening water.

David: I am soooo happy to be here with you today– thank you for bringing me here.

Paul: (as he takes his shirt off – and no this is not going to be a smutty story joseph!!!!) Yeah it has been a long time since we have had this opportunity to play like little boys!!!


Scene 3c: Paul and David, finally settle into their state of relaxation. Both shirtless and generic - no label (at least not one I would admit to owning!!!) khaki shorts. Soaking the sun into their pale white mid-western skin the boys are in paradise. The sky is blue, David’s wild hawk friend flies above looking for field mice, the bell on the lighthouse rings, the waves crash against the rugged shoreline, birds are singing and welcoming spring. The chairs are comfortable, both boys are relaxed and sit looking, listening and appreciating all that nature has to offer.

David: (silence)
Paul: (silence)

This dialogue continues for well over an hour. Nothing needs to be spoken between the two – they know how much the other enjoys being out in nature without any distractions of the outside world.

Scene 4:

David decides he wants to give his backside the warmth and tanning effects of the sun. Since the Larry Chairs only allow one to sit it is impossible to tan your back so David lays out a nice trendy beach blanket to stretch out and relax.

Scene 5:

Paul is still sitting in his Larry chair, David is laying face down on the blanket dozing in and out of a state of slummber - not REM but close. Suddenly! Paul notices walking toward them a group of young boys and girls (around the age of 10) lead by two young adults (camp counselors??) one boy and one girl. Since the gound is hilly and the are on the lower side they cannot FULLY see David laying on the ground - but do see that another person is with the gentleman in the Larry Chair. David half asleep hears a voice . . .


Lady Counselor: Hi . . . hello there! Excuse me! I didn’t want to startle you but we are going to have the children run past you there up and down that small hill . . . it is our human roller coaster game . . . just didn’t want to scare you . . .

Paul: Okay – sure Thanks!

David: huh? What is going on?

Paul: oh nothing just some kids out having fun.

David Looks up and sees a gang of young children all excited about being out in nature and playing with their counselors. They have formed a line around 50 feet from where he is laying . . .

Boy Counselor: On your mark! Get set! GO! (first child runs past David and up a small hill then down and out of sight).

SFX: Children screaming and yelling with excitement

Girl Counselor: On your mark! Get set! GO! (second child runs past David squealing up the small hill then down and out of sight).

SFX: Children screaming and yelling with excitement

Boy Counselor: On your mark! Get set! GO! (third child runs past David yelling and cheering up the small hill then down and out of sight).


At first David is happy to see the delight in the children’s faces as the race past him.

Girl Counselor: Becky – stay off the hill – here comes Randy!! Ok Randy - on your mark! Get set! GO! (fourth child runs past David squealing up the small hill then down and out of sight).

This repeats for 6 more children – all yelling and screaming and having fun!


FINAL SCENE: Paul is still in the Larry Chair, alternating between watching the children run past and glancing out to the sea. David is still laying face down and looking at feet run past his face and up the small hill. The last child ( a chubby one) stumbles past David and the Boy and Girl Counselors begin to walk past David towards the small hill to meet up with the children on the other side.


Boy Counselor: Hey thanks – sorry if we were a bother

Girl Counselor: Yeah sorry about that!


David lifts up on his elbow to make eye contact with the Counselors

David: Hey it looked like fun!

David lays his head back down to re-enter his state of relaxation. The Counselors continue to walk towards the hill and past David but still within ear-shot.

Girl Counselor (talking to Boy Counselor as if she was just thinking it to herself and not really saying it out loud): oh my - I thought IT was a lady!


David is MORTIFIED! Paul falls out of his chair laughing!!!!!!

So much for feeling all good about your newly worked out body and masculinity! All stripped away instantly by some young chick with some dumb fucking “human roller-coaster” game!!!!!!!